Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on ever since old ages. Affairs can be burdened with problems, cause sorrow, and other harms. Also you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, funds, age difference, religious background, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating for married.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek affairs. I think mainly though it is only the human nature, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to turn the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos the world has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You would need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major group, colossal actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel comfortable in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, generally the gentleman is sexually neglecting his wife for a tones of reasons. As a man I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed distantly, our general concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.